In the future we'll all be gay
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You made out with two different species that night
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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