So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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