I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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