i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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