Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
