I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
