what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
