I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
