You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
