He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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