I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
