Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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