Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
