i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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