Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
high people should be assigned attendants
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
