I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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