butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
