tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
