My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
