My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
