Are we in a gay sports bar?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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