Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
