It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
