i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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