When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
