im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
