So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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