tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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