I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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