Betty ford says i'm here all night
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
