Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
