Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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