well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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