You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
