He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
