Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
