We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
