I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
