You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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