I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
