I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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