I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
