covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Never joke about your clitoris.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
