i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
is that a dick in a sweater?
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