No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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