Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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