Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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