Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
