I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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