I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
