I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
