Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
