its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
