Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just google imaged poop.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
