im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
